Inspired to Reality

Fear seems to be the main driver in what many of us do in life.

In my studies I have always found fear to be the anchor holding many of us from moving to something better. Because people are usually embarrassed to admit it and deal with it, they find themselves stuck. The symptoms are always the same. Do you find yourself making excuses, procrastinating, or hiding behind addictions? All are results of deep rooted fear. Find the fear and control it and you will grow larger than any problem you face.

I have been told by many that you cannot eliminate a fear, but I have never seen a person move out of their debilitating situation without at least controlling it. I will agree that of all the feats you must perform to be truly at peace this is the most challenging. However, the rewards reaped in doing so are always greater than the efforts.

Fears first sprouts into our thoughts as worry and can grow into a full blown anxiety attack. Fear is a basic survival instinct that has not only ensured humans survived as a species, but also prospered. If not for fear we would have never fought off predators or escaped dangerous situations. The “fight or flight” nature of the instinct is not as much of the problem as the lesser discussed paralysis is. The best example would be the deer caught in the headlights of an on coming vehicle.

The only fear that we are born with is an ingrain fear of death. The rest we were taught usually during childhood. Fear of failure, fear of losing something, fear of embarrassment were all learned. A recent study showed more people were afraid of public speaking then dying. Just think how many important roles need public speakers. How many leaders in both politics and business will be stopped by fear?

To understand fear I studied stories of courage and survival and found the same remarkable pattern. Every success story said they acted in spite of fear and most had faith that they would survive. Some of the most horrific circumstances I have heard were often from soldiers. Be it either in the middle of an ocean or in a prisoner of war camp, they described the victims of the ordeal succumbing to fear or just giving up. The amazing thing about many of these stories as how they proved the so called experts wrong and survived in condition most would deem unlivable. I read about a British soldier during WWI, who walked 10 days in the desert with no water and rags left for shoes. They say a body can only survive for about 6 days without water…I love it when human spirit proves the “experts” wrong.

As President Roosevelt once said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!” So start analyzing your hang ups…is there a fear of something there? What caused it? Is it reasonable? The best thing to start with is putting the fear into perspective…what are the possibilities of it truly happening? Is there any training you can do to build your skills and confidence? For example, I still see people today that are afraid of flying in an airplane. Airline travel today is so superior that you have a better chance of getting into a car accident on the way to and from the airport than having an accident with the plane.

Take steps to combat your fears. There are two schools of thought that describe the approach and the best analogy would be getting into a cool swimming pool. You could slowly wade in or just take the quick plunge. After the confrontation, take an honest assessment. Was it as bad as you thought it would be? Did you learn something from the experience?

You should look at all new experiences and challenges as something to learn and grow from. This attitude mixed with a little sense of humor is the best medicine in combating your fear and changing you life for the better.

Last but not least, don’t worry about what might go wrong–think about how great it will be when they go right…that will always give you the courage to move forward.

Share This