Inspired to Reality

I was recently asked about finding your soul mate and how you can accomplish finding true love. True love is a very powerful elixir and can completely change your aspect on life. From what I have studied, I believe there are two schools of thought on finding true love. 1.) You change where you look for love and 2.) You change yourself and what you are attracting.

I am firm believer that we are more likely to attract a soul mate then actually seek and find them. I like to use the example of the lost set of keys. It is strange sometimes that when we actually look for something with great intensity, we usually struggle to find it. It is almost like we are not able to see the very thing that we seek. In the end, our mind controls what we see. Many times we are saying things to ourselves such as…”OH I will never find it!”…sadly, you are absolutely right.

So take the energy you would spend on frustration and seeking and focus that back within. First, you must build faith that you will find that person. Just the fact that you are looking has already made that a possibility. Erase any thoughts of failure. They will only work against you. For example, thoughts of failure may actually stop you from approaching someone who is very attracted to you.

In nature many animals have mating rituals…dances and routines that they go through to find a mate. Humans are also not that different. The difference is the “dance” is uniquely our own. Your individual being is what will attract that soul mate…so do not try to be something you are not…it will only lead to disappointment.

However, if you want to be with someone that is on, for example, a different level than you, you may have to truly change before this person would ever except you. For example, if you have addictions and seek to meet someone with out them…in most cases you will have to summon the strength to rid yourself of those addictions before you can attract that person.

They say opposites attract, but in fact it is “like that attracts like” Try sticking a magnet to anything but steel. To be more specific, soul mates usually complete each other. They both want the same things from life, and they find partners who complement each other to reach those goals. So truly examine what you want from life. Do you want a large family? Do you want an adventurous life or do you want a stable existence?

The fact is we often having trouble finding what we seek, because we often do not know what we seek. Can you imagine trying to find something if we have no idea what it looks like? I do not mean physical appearance in this case. It is more a sense of character and personality than physical attractiveness. I am sure we can all attest to being attracted to many different types of people…but who will be the one person you can spend the rest of you life with? Looks only go so far in this case.

That is why I believe dating is so important. It allows us to actively interact and see what kind of personalities fit and more importantly which do not. If you find yourself in a situation that you seem to wind up with the same type of people in you dating life, I ask you to honestly look at the type of person you are. In most cases you are attracting these people to you. Fix the problem in yourself and you will see these people disappear from your life since you will no longer attract them.

Much of what we understand about relationships came from watching primarily our parents and sometimes family and friends. Do you come from a divorced home or a long line of divorces? Unfortunately, divorce runs in the family for this very reason. Learning from a dysfunctional setting may have corrupted your own ideas of what a relationship should be like. I ask you first to promise yourself that the line of divorces will end with you and that you take extra care and looking in yourself to change.

In the end, what truly matters is the commitment to each other. Most relationships struggle because both individuals are not perfect and they do not yet understand everything that they want from life and each other. However, if they are committed to each other…no trial of tribulation will ever separate you. You will grow and learn together. Most importantly, these actions and lessons will be the foundation for your children. Will your children watch you constantly fight over the same things over and over again…or will they watch two partners work together to solve the problems and grow stronger?

Love is an incredible force and the stories of how two people meet never ceases to amaze me. I strongly believe, the fact that two people know what they want is actually the magnetic force that brings them together. Looking back at my relationships with the benefits of 20/20 hindsight, I cannot think of a person I had met that I did not want to meet at that given time. The truly amazing thing that happens is when geographic location, culture, language and/or social status cannot stop two people from bonding. The world truly is too small to stop you.

Most importantly, you must know and believe that you soul mate exists. There is no left without right…no up without down and there is no you without your complement. This is the first and last step to finding them.

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