Inspired to Reality

I now often sit and watch others in complete shock sometime thinking that was once me. It is amazing to me how a little attitude adjustment on my part has completely changed my life. I watch individuals so frustrated that they snap at their co-workers, friend and family for something that they had no part of. Do you think that helps your situation? No! It only further isolates you and the one thing you may want–help–will never be offered when you are smacking the people around you.

Why does this happen? We get mad. We get frustrated. I ask why? It is because we are focusing on the problem it self and thus ignoring the possible solutions. That is why we often say, you get what you ask for. If you focus on the problem….guess what you will get…The problem. Focus on the solution, guess what you get. The solution. It really is that easy.

If you are complaining, throwing fits, and constantly arguing….can you honestly say you are focused on the solution? If you think you are, you are just lying to yourself. I know I was.

So now when I face a problem, I simply ask is there something I can do to solve this. If there is, I deal with the issue immediately and if I can’t, I ignore it since it is out of power to fix. 99.99% of the time, I find it is within my control some how. Funny thing is that the fraction of the time I think it is not with my control, I usually learn that was within my control, I just did not fully understand how…That is what we call experience. I always joke that unfortunately, experience comes after we needed it.

So why get mad? It is just wastes energy and time. It never solves the problem. Instead use that time and energy to try and solve the problem. Could you have avoided the situation entirely?…Don’t treat the symptoms…Find the root.

You can never hope to remove problems entirely from your life…but what I have found is with this attitude they do get reduced drastically–and the little ones disappear completely. Let’s look at an example to see what I mean. Imagine a person has something go wrong when they first wake up. They stub their toe on the dresser. They choose to scream and curse. They are mad…Man it is going to be a bad day they think. Well, so you ask, so shall you receive. You’re already in a mindset to make it worse. While driving to work, someone cuts you off in traffic. You choose to scream and curse. Your blood comes to a mild boil; I should have stayed in bed you think. While at work a fellow co-worker drops the ball and now you are left in a precarious situation with your boss. You go in and ream him or her out…How could you have done this to me you ask? Obviously frustrated you don’t have the right answers for your boss, who in turn is now disappointed with you. You stagger home utterly frustrated and when your spouse asks you lovingly, how was you day, you snap sarcastically at them…Now they are mad with you as well.

I simply ask, where could you have stopped this downward spiral? Is it safe to say you were in control the whole time? Maybe the stubbed toe was an honest accident, but why should problems compound each other? Did you have to get mad because of someone’s bad driving? Could you have worked with the co-worker to come up with a short-term solution? Could you both presented the answer to the boss and maybe shown some team effort? Did you have to take your “horrible” day out on your spouse?

I exaggerate an example to make a point, but I would guess that many of us could relate to a day like that. So can you deal with the problem or ignore it? Try it and you maybe surprised how different your days become. What I have found is that each problem we face is really just an opportunity to grow. Once you become bigger then the problem, it never bothers you again. Much like riding a bike, you learn to balance. Once you do, you don’t fall anymore.

Best reason of all to practice technique is it frees up your day to laugh and enjoy your world. The smile that becomes tattooed to your face is like a magnet for other happy and interesting people. You also wind up reversing the momentum…instead of spirally downwards….you start to spiral upwards.

So next time, just think before you react. Deal with it or ignore.

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